Black Christmas (2006): Christmas

December 19, 2017

So... this movie makes me angry. I LOVE the original 1974 film, so for this to have the same name is honestly a travesty. I'm going to try to keep my rage out of my review (to a point). But holy god is this movie terrible. The movie centers around a group of sorority girls whose house was previously the site of horrible child abuse and gruesome murders.  They begin getting threatening phone calls and quickly realize that they are being stalked by the murderer. The murderer in this movie is Billy, a boy who was locked in the attic and physically and sexually abused by his mother. He fathers his sister/daughter and then murders his mother and stepfather, claiming that his sister/daughter is his now. Also for some reason he eats eyeballs. So the girls are being picked off one by one and have to fight to survive. The film is full of Christmas lights and decorations and music and that's about the only positive I can give this movie. The sad thing is, it has some really good actresses in it. I think it's just poorly written and shot and directed and edited... The reason this really grinds my gears is that in the original movie, the killer has no back story. He's just targeting them for some unknown reason, which is so much scarier to me. And I'm not saying every remake has to be, or should be exact, but you can't show every hand you have and expect the movie to work. It's so stupid. This movie is stupid. The only reason to watch it is to make fun of it or if you want to see a lot of Christmas lights, which you can see in tons of other movies anyway.

Netflix available? No

Hulu available? No

Xfinity available? Yes

Holiday rating: 7 Christmas trees